if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
