I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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