I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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