Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
