He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
