she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
