Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
