all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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