He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
