I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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