I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize