Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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