The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
she told me i tasted like america
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
