woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
