If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The feeling are messing with the penis
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
