as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
