I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
