Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I need a beard to bite.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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