six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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