I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
