If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
