Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
The air taste purple.
Randomize
