it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
ttyl tear gas
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
