How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
