I would go down on you faster than GM stock
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
