I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
