Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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