I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
