if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
