I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
