So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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