the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
