Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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