Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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