Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
