Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
