Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize