put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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