She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
