Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize