My sheets look like a crime scene.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
