no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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