So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
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Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
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I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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