my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
