I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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