Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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