Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
