He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
