ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Randomize
