I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
