If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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