Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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