Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
