Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i can't believe i had my finger in that
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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