I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
