Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
