Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
