Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
