so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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