i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
