Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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